Dave Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dave works hard at the plant, puts in a lot of overtime, and then spends most evenings bowling, playing basketball or working out at the gym. His wife, Mary, thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so, for his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doing?"
Mary is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He works out at the gym with me."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser.
Mary is now becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser."
"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi Davey," she says, "Want your usual table dance?"
Mary, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of more...

Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym.
His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, “Hey, Dave, how ya doin? ”
His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh no, ” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team. ”
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, “You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser”.
“No, honey, she’s in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them. ”
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. “Hi Davey, ” she says, “Want your usual table dance? ”
Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the more...

Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of devotion," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door."

2 co-workers DAVE and RICK were having lunch when dave sais..RICK...YA NEVER GUESS WHAT I JUST SIGNED UP FOR? rick sais...WHATS THAT? dave sais PARACHUTE JUMPING. rick laughs and sais,,, YA SILLY OLD FOOL...YUR ALMOST 65, SCARED OF HEIGHTS..WHY THAT? dave adds THE WIFE SAIS WHEN WE RETIRE NEXT YEAR SHE WANTS US TO TRAVEL THE WORLD. rick sais...SO WHEN DOES ALL THIS HAPPEN? dave sais...I LEAVE TOMOROW FOR 3 WEEKS....ILL SEE YA WHEN I GET BACK 2 weeks later rick steps into the lunchroom and finds dave eating his lunch and yells...DAVE BUDDY...THOUGHT YA SAID YA WOULD BE GONE FOR 3 WEEKS? dave looks up and sais...WELL...IT DIDNT GO AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT. rick sais...OH SO WHAT HAPPENED? dave sais....WELL AFTER THE FIRST WEEK OF INCLASS WE ALL WENT UP IN THE PLANE AND WHEN IT WAS MY TURN TO JUMP....I GOT TOO SICK TO MY STOMACH. rick sais....SO WHAT THEY SAY? dave adds....MORE CLASSROOM TIME...SO THE SECOND TIME I GOT UP THERE... I WAS SICK AGAIN. rick sais....SO THEY THREW YA OUT? dave more...

Dad and dave are walking along in the bush and they come across a dingo licking its balls. Dad says "I've always wanted to do that". Dave replies "those dingoes can be pretty viscious you know you'd want to pat it a bit first".

Mr. Smith, president of a large corporation, called his vice president into his office. "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off."
Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know who to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in. So Dave said, "Barbara, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do".
Barbara replied, "You'd better jack-off, I've got a headache."

Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro have announced that they are seperating, citing irreconcilable differences.
The irreconcilable difference? After nearly three years of marriage it became apparant that she looked like Carmen Electra, and he looked like Dave Navarro.