David Jokes / Recent Jokes

A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols, in this order of appearance: A woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David.

They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.

They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of their society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said: "This looks like a woman. We can judge that this race was family- oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

The next drawing looks like a more...

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Welshman were all sitting in the pub having a beer, when the conversation ran dry.
The Englishman, trying to start it back up again, said, "Guys, I was born on the 23rd April, which is St George's Day, the Patron Saint of England, so my parents decided to call me George. What do you think of that?"
The Scotsman replied, "That's a coincidence! I was born on St Andrew's Day, our Patron Saint, so my parents called me Andrew!"
The Welshman said, "You aint going to believe this! I was born on St David's Day, so my parents called me David!"
The Englishman noticed that the Irishman was very quiet. So he turned to him and asked, "What's your story then, Pancake?"

[Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
created from an more...

One day 7 year old David and his parents decided to go to the park with Grandma Jane. They were having a great time running and playing together. Then David saw a couple making out very very passionatly, so David asked "Mom, Dad, what are they doing?" While David asked the question Mom and Dad were getting alittle frisky themselves and said "Oh hunny they are getting ready to make cupcakes."
"Oh okay." said David After he asked the question he ran off and played. "Grandma Jane? Could you watch David for us? We wanna... go make cupcakes." said Mom giggling.
"Sure, said Grandma Jane, "have fun"
"Oh we will." said Dad as they walked to the car. Grandma Jane sat down and fell asleep right away.(Shes known for that) David saw his mommy and daddy leaving and ran to the car with no one noticing him.
About 2 hours after Mom and Dad made their "cupcakes" they heard a noise in the living room, they went more...

Britney spears craig david and shaggy were on a plane and someone farts craig david says i'm walking away shaggy says it wasint me and britney spears says opp's i did it again
the next day they are on a plane and someone farts shaggy says it wasnt me craig david says i;m walking away and britney spears says stronger than yesterday.