Deal Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200. 00. Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it. Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer. The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199. 00?"The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1. 00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, "It's $1. 00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that.""Comfortable?" the guy questions."Yes, you see she reads slow."

ARIES
You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.
TAURUS
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. Taurus people have BO.
GEMINI
You are a quick and intellectual thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap.
CANCER
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most Welfare recipients are Cancer people.
LEO
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves.
VIRGO
You are the logical type and more...

Kellogg has announced it will not renew its sponsorship deal with Michael Phelps. Fortunately he should have no problem picking up a deal from Honey Bunches of Hemp.

ARIESYou are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.TAURUSYou are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. Taurus people have BO.GEMINIYou are a quick and intellectual thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap.CANCERYou are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most Welfare recipients are Cancer people.LEOYou consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves.VIRGOYou are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your more...

So, who does this remind you of? . ... (men, hint: if you answer anyone we know you are wrong....)

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19 Surefire ways to know you're a Woman

1. You are a Bitch.

2. When asked' Is something bothering you?' reply' no' then get pissed off when you are believed.

3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him, and immediately expect him to stop this behavior..

4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.

5. Always hide very important events in very unimportant terms so you can have something to be pissed about when your boyfriend declines because he has pressing business, i.e. You say' It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you are not busy this weekend.' when you mean' It means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend whether or not it is more...

NORTH POLE (API) - Microsoft announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via sattelite from Santa's summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh.
The announcement also included a notice that beginning Jan 1, 1995, Christmas and the Reindeer names would be copyrighted by Microsoft. This unprecedented move was facilitated by the recently aquired MS Court. Microsoft stated its commitment to "all who have made Christmas great," and vowed to "make licensing of the Christmas and Reindeer names available to all." It is believed that the guidelines for licensing these names, due before Halloween, will be very strict.


When asked "Why buy Christmas?" Bill Gates replied "Microsoft more...

For a boy's 15th birthday, his father gave him a duck, and said, "Go into town and see what you can get with this." The boy then went in search of the best deal he could find.
He first ran into a hooker who offered, "I'll have sex with you if you give me the duck."
He agreed. Afterwards, she was so impressed she said, "If you do it again, I'll give you the duck back."
He thought that this was an excellent deal, and agreed.
Since he had his duck back, he continued to walk through town to try to find something else. Suddenly, the duck flew out of his arms and into an oncoming truck. The driver of the truck was so sorry about killing the duck, he gave the boy 2 dollars.
When the boy arrived home, his father asked what he recieved for the duck.
His reply: "Well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and two bucks for a fucked up duck!"