Deere Jokes / Recent Jokes

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for adivorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said,"Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmersaid, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, youdon't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, Idon't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you havea grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where Ipark my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do youhave a suit?"The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it in church onSundays."The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does yourwife beat you up or anything?"The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. more...

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become -
Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -
Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become -
MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -
Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -
Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -
Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -
Mine All Mine.
Federal Express and UPS merge to become -
FED UP.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild.
3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become
-
3 Penney Opera.
Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women more...

BACKUP - What you do when you run over a coon in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling out sick
CACHE - Neede when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
CRASH - When you go to Juniors party univited
DIGITAL - The art of countining on you fingers
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer
FAX - What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put ther hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie lives
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope more...

A friend of mine told me that his brother shot a nice 9-point buck this hunting season. While back at the farm one evening, his twin four year old nephews came for a visit. The uncle, being extremely proud of his prize deer, asked the boys if they would like to see it. They did. So they went down to the machine shed, where the buck was hanging for all to see.
The uncle stepped up to the door of the machine shed, and with his chest puffed out in pride, swung the door of the shed open.
"Wow!" exclaimed one of the boys. "Look at that John Deere tractor!"
And the two of them ran over to the tractor, completely ignoring the deer.
Needless to say, the uncle's hunting partners are not letting him forget this. I heard a rumor that he is getting a toy John Deere tractor for Christmas this year.