Definition Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did God create WASPs?
A: Someone has to buy retail!
Q: What do WASPs think Zimbabwe Rhodesia is?
A: A wide receiver for the Houston Oilers.
Q: How can you tell if a WASP is sexually excited?
A: The stiff upper lip.
Q: What's an American WASP's idea of open-mindedness?
A: Dating a Canadian.
Q: What does a little WASP girl want to be when she grows up?
A: "The very best person I possibly can."
Q: What's a WASP's idea of social security?
A: An ancestor on the Mayflower.
Q: Why did the WASP cross the street?
A: To get to the middle of the road.
Q: What happens when four WASPs find themselves in the same room?
A: A dinner party.
Q: What do WASPs think of the Mideast situation?
A: Well, Newport is all right, but EVERYbody goes to the Cape.
Q: How does a WASP propose marriage?
A: "How would you like to be buried with my people?"
Q: What's a WASP's idea of affirmative action?
A: more...

What's the definition of a Jewish nyphomaniac? One that screws when she's just had her hair done.

What's the definition of a Jewish nyphomaniac?
One that screws when she's just had her hair done.

What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.

What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? Your honor What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad? Senator. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline! What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving. What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice them. Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand. When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep? Because down deep, they are all nice guys!!!! How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a more...

What's the definition of a Parapet? Pet parrot kept by parachutist!

Somewhere in America, next week...
Dad: Son, come in here, we need to talk. Son: What's up, Dad?
Dad: There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Son: I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the car", that I can say, truthfully, that I did not scratch the car.
Dad: Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch? Son: Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.
Dad: But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car? Son: Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did more...