Definition Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the definition of a nerd?
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

What's the definition of Parity? Two parrots exactly the same!

Somewhere in America, next week...Dad: Son, come in here, we need to talk. Son: What's up, Dad? Dad: There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Son: I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the car", that I can say, truthfully, that I did not scratch the car.Dad: Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch? Son: Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.Dad: But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car? Son: Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" scratch more...

What is the definition of a cluster chord? A viola section playing on the C string.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can pick tomatoes!
What's black, has white eyes and knocks on glass? A black in a microwave.
Why don't blacks like blow jobs? They don't like any job.
What do you call two Vietnamese in a TransAm? The gooks of hazard.
Did you hear about the polish Lesbian? She LOVED men.
Why are Jewish men circumcised? Jewish women don't buy anything unless it's 20% off!
What's the only food that ruins your sex life? Wedding cake.
What do you call a Filipino contortionist? A Manila folder.
How do you make a black man nervous? Take him to an auction.
Did you hear about the two Mexicans who appeared on "That's Incredible"? One had car insurance and the other was an only child.
What's the definition of endless love? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
What's the definition of "eternity"? Four blondes, in four separate cars, at a 4-way more...

What's the definition of a quarter tone?
A harpist tuning unison strings.

What's the definition of a real loser? A guy who has a wet dream and gets HIV.