Delete Jokes / Recent Jokes

If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.When you lose your car keys, click on "find".We could click on "send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.To feel like a new person, click on "refresh".Click on "close" to shut up the kids and spouse.To undo a mistake, click on "back".If you don't like cleaning the litter box, click on "delete".

Microsoft's ad slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?"
Here are alternative slogans for the bloated OS:
1. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.
2. Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.
4. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.
5. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
6. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
7. Error #152 - Windows not found:
(C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
8. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
10. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
11. OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
12. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [H]ell Yes!
13. Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
14. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
15. How do more...

Microsoft's ad slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?"
Now that Windows 98 is out, Microsoft have disclosed the alternatives that were considered when Windows 95 was released:
1. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.
2. Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.
4. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 gives you the whole house.
5. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
6. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
7. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
8. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better.
9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
10. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
11. OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
12. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [H]ell Yes!
13. Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
14. Windows NT: more...

Microsoft's ad slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?"
Now that Windows 98 is out, Microsoft have disclosed the alternatives that were considered when Windows 95 was released:
1. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.
2. Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.
4. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 gives you the whole house.
5. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
6. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
7. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
8. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better.
9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
10. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
11. OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
12. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [H]ell Yes!
13. Windows
3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
14. Windows more...

Microsoft's ad slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?"Now that Windows 98 is out, Microsoft have disclosed the alternatives that were considered when Windows 95 was released :1. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.2. Double your drive space: Delete Windows! 3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.4. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 gives you the whole house.5. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.6. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.7. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.8. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better.9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.10. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.11. OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.12. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [H]ell Yes! 13. Windows3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.14. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.15. How do you more...

Don't you wish when life is bad
and things just don't compute,
That all we really had to do
was stop and hit reboot?

Things would all turn out ok,
life could be so sweet
If we had those special keys
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete

Your boss is mad, your bills not paid,
your wife, well she's just mute
Just stop and hit those wonderful keys
that make it all reboot

You'd like to have another job
but you fear living in the street?
You solve it all and start a new,
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For more...