Delivery Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the back woods of West Virginia, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern...It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor. The Redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"

Kimo is a bus driver for the Honolulu Transit Company. One day Kimo is headed to work on his bus route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The van driver works for the Honolulu Zoo. He pleads with Kimo to do him a favor.

He offers a $100 bill to Kimo to help him deliver a truckload of penguins to the zoo, because they needed to be there within the hour. Agreeing, Kimo proceeds to load two dozen penguins onto his bus. Then, off they drive towards the zoo.

An hour later, the delivery driver gets his van fixed and heads off to the zoo to catch up with his delivery. As he's driving down the road, he see's Kimo and the busload of penguins heading in the opposite direction. He turns his van around and chases in pursuit. He finally catches up to the bus and pulls over Kimo on the side of the road.

In an irate voice he asks, "Hey, Kimo. I thought I gave you a $100 dollars to go and take the penguins to the zoo for more...

What does pizza delivery man anda gynaecologist have in common? Both can smell it but can't eat it

Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

Ujaagar's eldest daughter had been taken to the delivery room in a hospital and he was anxiously waiting outside, when he heard the crying of a newborn babe. A few minutes later a nurse came out of the delivery room.
Ujaagar rushed up to her and enquired,' Sister, am I a grandfather or a grandmother?'

Did you hear about the baby born in the high tech delivery room?
It was cordless!

One day, three friends met at an inn after not seeig each other for a very long time. They chatted for an hour or so, and then the topic turned to their wives.
A: You know, something strange happened during my wife's delivery. She was reading a book called "The Two Brothers" before her delivery and she gave birth to 'two' children! Isn't that strange?"
B: Yeah, but you want to know something stranger? A similar thing happened to my wife, when she was pregnant! She was reading the book "Amar, Akbar and Antony", and she gave birth to 'three children' !!!"
On hearing this, the third person C, took to his heels and started running. The other two were puzzled but they ran after C and caught up with him.
A: "Hey C. Why did you run off ?"
C: "My wife's pregnant now and she's reading "Alibaba and the Forty Thieves" !!!"