Demand Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number of would-be robbers.

PICK THE RIGHT BANK

You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.



STUDY YOUR HISTORY

Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.



SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER

One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.



DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE

Demand notes have more...

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream' MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!' 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles. 7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable. 8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King.. 9.. . but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're' astronaut food'. 10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from' Dianetics.' 11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I. 12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say,' You mean you really can't more...

There was sudden increase of demand for the Kotex pads in the Anuradapura district and the sales manager of the company in Colombo was unable to explain why there is a sudden demand even higher than in Colombo City and suburbs. So, he asked a team to go to Anuradapura to investigate it.
The team arrived in a rural area and inquired from a small shop where there was a large stock of pads for sale. Before they could ask a single question several people came and bought kotex pads.
Every one of them asked the shop keeper to give a "Mukkawadam" and shop keeper obliged with a Kotex pad.
The shop keeper finally explained the secrete of demand for pads. He said our farmers in Anuradapura use the pads for providing protection against breathing fumes of poison when they spray pestisides on the crops, using Kotex pads as MUKKAWADAM which has become very popular than for its intended use.

You can enjoy a beer all month. Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. When beer goes flat you toss it out. Beer is never late. Hangovers eventually go away. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer labels come off without a fight. hen you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. Beer never has a headache. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. A beer always goes down gently. You can share a beer with your friends and enemies. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer. A beer is always wet. Beer doesn't demand equality. A beer doesn't care when you come. You can have a beer in public. A frigid beer is a good beer. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes more...

Everytime you throw exclaim “TAKE THAT, YOU!!! ” continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike “X” appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
Wear Golf Shoes.
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
Bring full angling gear, ask how they’re biting….. fish.
Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how more...

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels.
6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you're in.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, more...

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask prices of everything on the menu and then order something that you did not ask the price for.
3. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you are in.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on.
8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9. Ask how they fit into that little box.
10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said ''May I take your more...