Den Jokes / Recent Jokes
Child Ballad 37 deals with Thomas the Rhymer. . . this piece is based upon that and, of course, interaction I observed among SCAdians
True Aubrey in Lady Christiana's Den
(or Spare Room, as the case may be: -)
1 Lord Aubrey visited a shire
And he beheld a ladie gay,
A ladie whose hospitalitie
Was knowne through mundane Thunder Bay
2 Her manor ringed around with snow
Was warm, and lit with lanterns bryht
Ant for Aubrey, who sought crash space
Looked fair to spend the nyht
3 True Aubrey he took off his hat,
And bowed him low down till his knee:
' All hail, thou Queen of Heaven's Lodging!
For its peer on earth I never did see.'
4' O no, O no, Lord Aubrey,' she says,
' This hall is not that which you name;
I offer but my humble home,
If you've come here for to visit me.
* * * * *
5 But ye maun stay wi me now, Aubrey,
Dear Sherriff, ye maun stay more...
'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was strirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.
When up on da roof
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!
When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!
Wit' a slap to dare snouts
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted
And he called dem by name
"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me' side da head.
"What da hell you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' more...
Two Italians in the bus were having a rather loud conversation and the old lady seated behind them
was trying her best to ignore them. But she couldn't contain herself when she heard one of the guys say:
"First Emma come den I come, two asses both together, den I come, two asses together again and I come,
two pee, both together and I come again"
The old lady yelled, "You should be ashamed of yourself, talking of your sex lives in public!"
The guy replied,' Hey, coola downa lady, me justa tell my friend how to spella' Mississipi'!!"
Da night bepor Christmas
An all tru da house
Nating pas
Not eben a mouse.
Da children dey nossie
all snog on da ploor
An Mama puts newspepper
Tru da crack on da dor.
Den Mama in da stobe
Roost up da manuk
Steer up da adobo
An make bake da biko.
Den out on da rud
Dey got such a clatter
Soun like old manong
Pull down da ladder.
I run so past
To open da dor
I trip ober da dog
An pull down on da ploor!
As I look out da dor
In da light ob da moon
I thinking "apo, you cresy
I'm gitting old too soon."
Becus dere on da rud
Wer I turn my head
Dere's eight carabao
Pulling a sled
An a little driber
Wit a big ishtick
I know right away
must be St Nick.
Mob paster an paster
Da carabao dey come
He wistle an holler
An call dem by nim:
"Oy, Boogy!
Oy, more...
A lady jumps off 85 silver springs buildin,
A guy catches her on 7th floor and say "if i save u
will u suck my dick she says "ewwwww.. no". So he
lets her go. Den a next guy catches her on da 6th
floor she goes" i wont suck your dick" so he lets
her go. Den a guycatches her on da 5th floor and
she goes: save me and i'll suck your dick"he "go ewwws"
and lets her go.