Denied Jokes / Recent Jokes

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said "Hell, I'm no actor, and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"

John Daly has been denied an exemption in the Bob Hope Classic, and called it "a slap in the face." And if there's anyone who knows what it's like to get slapped in the face, it's probably John Daly.

Following is a piece of conversation of a husband who is an over enthusiastic software professional: -
Husband: ( Returning late form work ) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in".
Wife: Have you brought the ring?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife: But I told you in the morn...
Husband: Erroneous syntax.
Wife: What about my new blouse?
Husband: Variable not found. ..
Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied. ..
Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters. Abort!...
Wife: It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife: You are a useless nut.
Husband: Default Parameter.
Wife: What about your Salary?
Husband: Access denied. File in use...
Wife: Who was in the car this morning?
Husband: System unstable. more...

By Andrew Marlatt
Sunday, February 10, 2002; Page B05
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China and Syria today announced they had formed the Axis of Just as Evil, which they said would be "way eviler" than the Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name.
"Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean President Kim Jong Il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils....I mean the best at being evil....We're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. more...