Desert Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Jews are stranded on a desert island. They build three synagogues --- one for the orthodox Jew, one for the reform Jew, and one that neither one of them will ever set foot in!

A man who had been shipwrecked on a desert island for several years is starting to feel the effects of being starved of sex for so long. However, the only living creatures on the island are a dog and a pig. One day, the man decides he's had enough and thinks to himself that it has to be the pig. But every time he approaches the sow for his moment of passion the dog bites the man's backside. This continues for several days and the man is beginning to get frustrated. But one morning, the man's luck changes: out to sea he notices a beautiful young woman on the point of drowning. He swims over, drags her out on to the beach and gives her the kiss of life. The woman comes to and is very grateful. "Thank you so much," she says. "I will do anything for you, and I mean absolutely anything." The man can't believe his luck and quickly replies, "You wouldn't mind taking that bloody dog for a walk would you?"

A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won't budge. The woman stops and says, "Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?"The legionarie tells her the camel won't budge but she's welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW... smashes the camel's testicles with the bricks. The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert. The captain drops his pants and says, "Great! Do me next, I've got to catch that son of a bitch!"

A mother and a baby camel were lazing around, and suddenly the baby camel asked....
Baby: Mother, mother, may I ask you some questions?
Mother: Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?
Baby: Why do camels have humps?
Mother: Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water.
Baby: Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?
Mother: Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert, You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone does! Said the mother proudly.
Baby: Okay, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my sight.
Mother: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind. Said mother camel with eyes rimming with pride....
Baby: I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these more...

There was three girls a brown head, a red head, and a blonde head. They where going to go on a hike in the desert and the brown head said she would take some food if they got hungry, the red head said she would bring water if they got thirsty, and the blonde head said she'd bring a car door........ so if they got hot she could roll down the window.

A Marwari, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend.

He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.

While standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks.
It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening.

While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling.
He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man,

"Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man more...

A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. Whilestanding in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears thiswhistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It wasonly a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internalinjuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's houseattending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hearsthe teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closetand proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizablelump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my goodtea kettle?" The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they'resmall."