Designs Jokes

ACURA
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical more...

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of thewindshields.British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the pilot's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like a bolt shot from a crossbow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs for the windshield, andbegged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA responded with a one-line memo: more...

1) Light a candle on your roomie's, friend's, or relative's forehead while they are sleeping. See how long it takes for them to wake up. This will tell you how long you will live. 2) Tell your future by interpreting the patterns in popcorn, beer cans and cigarette butts left on the floor after your last party. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 3) Choose an outfit for the day using a divining rod. 4) Determine what your friends have done during the day by smelling their odor eaters. 5) Go outside skyclad (naked), come in and interpret the patterns in your goose bumps. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 6) Tape music videos, play them backwards on your VCR and try to find subliminal images and rock stars that take on Satanic appearances. 7) Interpret forms in your sculptured carpet. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 8) At breakfast, eat all but a few bits of cereal, then stir it vigorously and interpret the resulting designs. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 9) Develop a 'tarot' more...