Desired Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185, 000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1: 30-3: 30 p. m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more...

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place?
DESIRED SALARY: $185, 000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1: 30-3: 30 p. more...

Actual Fast Food Job Application
This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment...
NAME: Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY more...

Q.- NAME:
A.- Iam Applyin
Q.- DESIRED POSITION:
A.- Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Q.- DESIRED SALARY:
A.- $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Q.- EDUCATION:
A.- Yes.
Q.- LAST POSITION HELD:
A.- Target for middle-management hostility.
Q.- SALARY:
A.- Less than I'm worth.
Q.- MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
A.- My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Q.- REASON FOR LEAVING:
A.- It sucked.
Q.- HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
A.- Any.
Q.- PREFERRED HOURS:
A.- 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Q.- DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
A.- Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
Q.- MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
A.- If I had one, would I be more...

Q.- NAME:A.- Iam ApplyinQ.- DESIRED POSITION:A.- Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.Q.- DESIRED SALARY:A.- $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.Q.- EDUCATION:A.- Yes.Q.- LAST POSITION HELD:A.- Target for middle-management hostility.Q.- SALARY:A.- Less than I'm worth.Q.- MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:A.- My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.Q.- REASON FOR LEAVING:A.- It sucked.Q.- HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:A.- Any.Q.- PREFERRED HOURS:A.- 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.Q.- DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:A.- Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.Q.- MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:A.- If I had one, would I be here? Q.- DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROMLIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:A.- Of what? Q.- DO YOU more...