Details Jokes

Jewish Telegram
"Begin worrying. Details to follow."

Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not to exceed 1 (one)
pound. (See line 4.)
Line 2. Sugar, light brown or white, unless you or your spouse
had a financial account in a foreign country in 1990, in which case
dark brown sugar must be used. Do not substitute molasses or honey.
Use 1 (one) cup and adjust to taste.
Line 3. Eggs, six or half a dozen, whichever is greater.
Line 4. Semisweet chocolate, 6 oz. Nonfarm families may choose
the optional method of using cocoa powder. If you elect the Cocoa
Method, add 1/2 oz. (One Tablespoon) of butter to each 3
tablespoons of cocoa. Multiply by .9897 per ounce of substitution.
For adjustments to sugar, see pg. 29. Add total of additional
butter to Line 1 (above). Sugar adjustments should be reflected in
final total of Line 2. For additional details on cocoa conversion,
see Form 551.
Line 5a. Flour, white. If you were a federal, state or local
government employee, more...

In a surprise interview, Monica was asked about the details of her late
night meetings with the President...
"I can't remember the details, she said, but I know the answer is on the
tip of my tongue!"

There was a young man who volunteered for military service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola skipping boot camp.

The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft., he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down, too. Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck. He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain.

Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"

The captain turned around, bowed, and replied, "You make one velly impoltant mistake!"

In my university bookshop the other day, inquiring about the availability
of a book for my research, I told the lady behind the counter that I had
all the details of the book, and asked if she wanted the Title, Author list,
Publisher, or what?
"The ISBN number is all I need. Its the world standard! With the ISBN
number, I can locate the book on the computer and order it for you"
I handed over the sheet of paper with the details and pointed to the ISBN
number.
"Oh, damn, you've got the American ISBN number, and we need the European ISBN
number."