Dharamraj Jokes / Recent Jokes
THREE righteous men - a Hindu, a Muslim and a Sikh happened to die suddenly and were presented before Dharamraj. Dharamraj was apologetic for having ended their lives abruptly. To make amends he offered to grant them whatever they had missed in life for one year before he consigned them to heaven or hell.
The Hindu spoke first:' Sire, I have been a strict vegetarian all my life. I would like to eat meat to my heart's content.'
'It shall be so/ replied Dharamraj and ordered his servants to feed him for a year with tandoori chicken, kababs and whatever other meat delicacies he wished.
Came the turn of the Muslim:' Sire, as a good Mussalman, I never tasted liquor. Please give me the best kind of wines and liquors for a year/
'It shall be so,' replied Dharamraj and ordered his servants to supply the man with vintage wines, premium Scotch and liquors for a year.
'And you Sardar Sahib, what would you like?'
'Sire, as a good Sikh I was forbidden to smoke. I more...
A BRAHMIN priest and the driver of a Redline bus died the same day, and were presented before the Dharamraj to be told whether they would be sent to heaven or hell. The Pandit pleaded his case - the life-long efforts he had made to get people to take the name of Rama.
'You made it into a trade; you go to hell,' ordered Dharamraj.
Without so much as questioning the Redline bus driver, he ordered him to be given a place in heaven. When the Pandit protested at the injustice, Dharamraj replied,' You failed in your mission. This man succeeded without trying. Every time anyone boarded his bus, he said, "Hey Ram" and kept repeating the holy name till he got off.'
A vice-chancellor died and was received at the gates of paradise for questioning before his fate could be decided.' What were you doing when living?', asked Dharamraj.
'I was vice-chancellor of a university.'
'That's okay. You've suffered the pangs of hell on earth and deserve a break in paradise.'
The next arrival was put through the same questioning.' I was vice-chancellor of a university for three successive terms,' he replied.
'Put him in hell,' ordered Dharamraj.' He's got into the habit.'
Three young women, a Tamilian, a Maharashtrian and a Punjaban, who all happened to die on the same day, arrived in the office of Dharamraj, the keeper of life's records. He first questioned the Tamilian about her lifestyle.' I have been very good: a virgin till I married, utterly faithful and dutiful to my husband. I looked after my mother-in-law and prayed to Tirupati everyday.'
'That's very good. I will recommend you for first class accommodation in paradise,' said Dharamraj.
The Maharashtrian came next.' I was a full-blooded Maratha so I could not be quite as chaste in thought and deed as my Tamilian sister. But I didn't hurt anyone and I kept my husband happy. 1
'For you, second class accommodation in paradise,' replied Dharamraj.
'And what about you?', he asked the lady from the land of the five rivers.
'I was a very bad woman,' she replied.' I did everything I shouldn't have done: I never said my prayers, I quarrelled with my saas (mother-in-law), and more...