Diagnose Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day Pete was complaining to his friend "my elbow hurts. I bettersee a doctor". His friend said "Don't do that. There's a computer inthe drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaperthan visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine andit will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. Itonly costs $10. 00." Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urinesample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured inthe sample and deposited $10. 00. The computer started to make a weirdnose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a smallslip of paper printed. It said: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks. Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Petebegan to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples more...

One day Jim complained to his friend, "My elbow really
hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered. "Don't do that.
There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything
quicker and cheaper than a doctor." Simply put in a sample of your urine
and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you
can do about it. It only cost $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he
poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started
making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause
out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arms in warm water.
Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and
how it would change medical science forever, more...

A man that complained to his friends "My elbow really hurts." I guess I should go see a doctor.
His friend offered DON'T DO THAT! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00
The man figured that he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drugstore. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample, and deposited the ten dollars. The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow
Soak you're arm in warm water
Avoid heavy labour
It will be better in two weeks
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if more...

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10. 00." Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: 1. You have tennis elbow. 2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. 3. It will be better in two weeks....... That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. more...

Bob complained to his friends "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor."
His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the
rugstore that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a
doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It
only costs $10. 00."
Bob figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,
he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer
started making some noises and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper
on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
as and how it would more...

A man said to his friends one night down the pub, "My elbow's really starting to hurt me. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow." "Don't do that mate! There's this computer at the chemists that can diagnose anything faster than a doctor. Just put in a piss sample and it'll diagnose the problem and tell you the treatment. It only costs a fiver." So the next morning he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the chemists. He found the computer, poured in the sample, and deposited the 5. The computer started making some noises and lights started flashing on it. Then, after a brief pause and a pinging sound a slip of paper popped out on which was printed his diagnosis: "You've got tennis elbow, soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy lifting. It'll be better in two weeks." Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed more...