Dial Jokes / Recent Jokes
Boudreaux dies and goes to hell. The devil visits him and asks, "How do you like hell, Boudreaux?"
Boudreaux sits there smiling and says, "It's very nice, thank you, like a June day in Louisiana." The devil frowns, turns up the dial a notch, and leaves. He comes back the next day and says, "How do you like hell now, Boudreaux?"
Boudreaux looks at him and says, "Not bad. Just like a July day in Louisiana." The devil curses and cranks it up another notch. He comes back the next day and says, "How do you like it now?"
Boudreaux says, "Poo-ya-iee cher! Just like an August day in Louisiana." The devil thinks a minute, then cranks the dial all the way down to zero. He comes back the next day, snow is falling, ice is everywhere and Boudreaux is sitting there shivering. "Now what do you say Boudreaux?"
"The Saints must have won the Superbowl!"
Jerks by Patrick Hanifin (Reproduced without permission from the Humor Archives)
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found
the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly
the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided
to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung
up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "Jerk," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of
weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then
I'd more...
What to do With Hotel Soap
The following letters were taken from an actual incident
between a London hotel and one of its guests.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom
since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six
unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another
three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her
day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you
requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top
of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This
leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the
management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
Dear more...
Knock Knock Who's there! Crock and Dial! Crock and Dial who? Crock and Dial Dundee!
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Crock and Dial.
Crock and Dial who?
Crock and Dial Dundee!
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!! Now get this.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, more...