Diamond Jokes / Recent Jokes
Women's Lifestyles Through the Ages
AGE... DRINK
17... Winecoolers
25... White wine
35... Red wine
48... Dom Perignon
66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17... Need to wash my hair
25... Need to wash and condition my hair
35... Need to color my hair
48... Need to have Francois color my hair
66... Need to have Francois color my wig
FAVORITE SPORT
17... shopping
25... shopping
35... shopping
48... shopping
66... shopping
FAVORITE DRUG
17... shopping
25... shopping
35... shopping
48... shopping
66... shopping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17... "Burger King"
25... "Free meal"
35... "A diamond"
48... "A bigger diamond"
66... "Home Alone"
FAVORITE FANTASY
17... tall, dark and handsome
25... tall, dark and handsome with money
35... tall, dark and handsome with money and a more...
Women's Lifestyles Through the AgesAGE... DRINK17... Winecoolers25... White wine35... Red wine48... Dom Perignon66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaserEXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES17... Need to wash my hair25... Need to wash and condition my hair 35... Need to color my hair48... Need to have Francois color my hair66... Need to have Francois color my wigFAVORITE SPORT17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingFAVORITE DRUG17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingDEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE17... "Burger King"25... "Free meal"35... "A diamond"48... "A bigger diamond"66... "Home Alone"FAVORITE FANTASY17... tall, dark and handsome25... tall, dark and handsome with money35... tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48... a man with hair66... a manHOUSE PET17... Muffy the cat25... Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat35... Irish setter and Muffy the Cat48... Children from his more...
There was this beautiful secretary of the president of a large bank who goes on a sight-seeing tour with an important client, a very rich African king.
From out of the blue, the client asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her - don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.
After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions:
First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
The African king pauses for a while, then nods his head and says, "No Problem! I have! I have!"
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York and as a vacation home, I want a chateau in the middle of the best wine county in more...
A cop saw a blonde down on her knees under a streetlight. "Can I help you?" he asked.
Replied the blonde, "I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it."
Asked the cop "did you drop it right here?"
"No," she responded, "I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here."
A cop saw a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. "Can I help you?" he asked. Replied the woman, "I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it." Asked the cop "did you drop it right here?" "No," responded the blonde, "I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here."
"Blood Diamond" star, Jennifer Connelly, has admitted she will never enjoy diamonds again after learning about the conflict concerning the diamond industry in Sierra Leone.
Don't get her wrong, she'll still wear them and accept them, she just won't enjoy them.
Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word' manyana'. Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means "maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?" The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish. "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency.", replied Brennan.