Dick Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick. The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard. The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the otherperson would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says, "See that girl overthere? Bam. Got her."

This is a list of the worst names to have
Dick Hurtz
Hary Paratesticles
Mike Hunt
Mike Rotch
Anitta Manwhore
Anitta Johnson
Fuk Yao
Ike Anblow
Peter Pecker
I.C. Weiner
I.P. Freely
Seimore Butts
Bo Oobless
Dick Less
Issac Less
Tits McGee (ok, that was off Anchorman)
Ima Hornibusterd
Ima Uglibech
Ima Dick

A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says, "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."
The bartender says "Well, then, let's see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gator's mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."

three men were walking in the woods and they came across a rock, and under the rock was a snail. the snail saw the men and told them that if they help him out of the rock then he would grant them one wish each. so they got the snail out and he asked for their wishes. the white man asked for a dick made of steel, the chinese man asked for a dick made of wood, and the black man asked for a three mile long dick. the snail granted their wish and told them to come back the next day if they wanted to change. the next day the first 2 men came back and wanted their wishes changed because their dicks were hurting their girl friends. so the snail turned them back to normal and they left. the snail wondered about the black man so he went and found him and asked him if he liked his wish. the man said "i love it, watch this. you see black that girl way down there, waaaay down there, waaaaaaay down there?" the snail said yes. the black man said " ungh i got her"

There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure.
She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog when he finds the frog he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches.
He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?"
The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?"
Frog: "No, I won't marry you."
The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just more...

Why is Dick Clark a favourite star with horses? Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!

i ha a dick that made a floopy sound one night i realise the sound stop when i reach for the lights the dick said i tired of floppying myself and i reallyhave not been doing you but the dog