Dig Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a DIG had to visit an Inspector of police who lived in a village. Since there were few important people in the village the Inspector was considered most important. Also it was evening therefore the DIG decided to visit the Inspector at home. when he went to the house a servant came out, and the DIG asked for the inspector. Lokuhamuduruwo gedara ne was the reply. Thinking he could leave a message with the inspector's son he asked for him. Podi hamuduruwoth gedara ne was the reply. The DIG was impressed a mere Inspector was being referred to as hamuduruwo. The servant wanted to know if the DIG wanted to leave a message. The DIG thought for a moment. Reflecting upon his superior rank he said the servant: "Ehenang buduhamuduruwo evith giya kiyanna"

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful young girl called Rindercella.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

Rindercella worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits and shivelling shot. At the end of the day she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks. They were real forrible huckers. They had featy sweet and featy swannies.

The sugly isters had tockets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts wouldn't let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her Gairy Fodmother appeared.

Her name was Cupid Stunt and she was a light rucking fesbian with a twig bat.

She turned a pumpkin and mix sice into a hucking cuge farriage, and six dandy ronkeys with buge hillocks and dig bicks.

The Gairy Fodmother told Rindercella to be back by midnight or there would be a cucking more...

The Jag zoomed along, with the native Californian sitting behind the wheel describing to his visiting chum the blind date they were on their way to meet. "She's young, she's rich and her face is a picture," said the driver.
Before the evening had grown very old, the visitor found that the young lady was indeed young, had very glowing financial prospects. .. but her looks were incredibly bad. The next morning, he challenged his friend, "I thought you said my date's face was a picture!"
His host yawned and replied, "Can I help it if you don't dig Picasso?"

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished. He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt more...

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation.

Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year.
I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love, Dad
........
Shortly, the old man received this telegram:
"For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4a. m.
the next morning,
A dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling more...

Gyani Zail Singh went to the US & had a meeting with Reagan. Reagan said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me." Reagan takes him in a deep forest and says. "Dig the ground." Zail Singh digs. Reagan says, "More, more, more..." Zail Singh has now reached a 100 feet. Reagan says, "So now, did you find anything?" Zail Singh, "I got a wire!" Reagan says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!" Zail Singh was very frustrated and he invited Reagan to India. In India GyaniJi says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in India!" He takes Reagan to a forest and asks him to dig. After some time GyaniJi says, "More.. . more... more!" Reagan has now reached almost 400 feet. Zail Singh says, "Find anything?" Reagan tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!" GyaniJi says, "You see even 400 years ago we had gone WIRELESS!"