Diner Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a
very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself, "
He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go
for this carrying on."
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from
work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and
told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the
baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would
walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of more...

Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, its blown my steak off the plate three times.

Diner: Waiter, bring me a bottle of wine, please.

Waiter: What year?

Diner: This year! We'd like to drink it with our dinner.

Diner: Could I have a glass of water? Waiter: To drink? Diner: No, I want to rinse out a few things.

Diner: May I please have a glass of water? Waiter: Why, are you thirsty? Diner: No, I want to see if my neck leaks.

Diner: Waitress, the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: Its just an optical illusion. Its just that the restaurant has been enlarged.

Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.