Diner Jokes / Recent Jokes

Diner: Why are the waiters in here so nasty? Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.

Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Dont worry, Sir, its not that hot!

Two men went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them.
The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," he complained.
The two men stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped their sandwiches.

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?" The waiter replied, "Yes. We had an efficiency expert here that determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?" The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. That same efficiency expert determined that we spend 21.4% of our time washing our hands after using the men's room. The other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to get my tool out of my pants, go, and more...

The waiter at the diner came over and ask« his customer, "And how did you find the steak?|
"Easy," snarled the patron. "I shoved a spoon| ful of potatoes to the side, and there it was!"

An old Jewish man goes to his local diner every day for lunch. He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal.
The old man replies (with Yiddish accent) "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread."
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices of bread. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread", comes the reply.
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices of bread. "How was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread", comes the reply.
So... the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole loaf of bread with his soup. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks, when he comes to pay. "Wass goot, but you could give just a little more bread", comes the reply once again.
The manager is more...

The irate diner raised his hand to catch the attention of a passing waiter.
"Excuse me," said the man, "but how long have you been working here?"
"About a year," replied the waiter.
"In that case," continued the diner, "it couldn't have been you that took my order."