Directors Jokes / Recent Jokes
And the Assumptions were without form And the Plan was completely without substance And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers And the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh. ” And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth, “It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof. ” And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them, “It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it. ” And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth, “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength. ” And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying one to another, “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong. ” And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them, “It promotes growth and is very powerful. ” And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him, “This new Plan will actively promote more...
Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
A CEO of a troubled company was relieved of his duties at the Board of Directors meeting. When he returned to his office to collect his personal belongings, his replacement was bringing in his first boxload. Not wanting it to be an uncomfortable moment, the former CEO spoke.
"I have nothing against you. This has been a terrible period in my life, and I only wish you the best," he said. "Before I go, let me give you three envelopes. If things start to become really tough, open the first one. After that, you will be fine for awhile, then when it gets tougher, open the second..."
The new CEO thanked his predecessor, finished moving in and began to organize himself. A few months went by, he had made no progress, and was called into a meeting with the Board of Directors. He decided it was time to open the first envelope.
Written on a piece of paper was the advice, "Blame conditions on your predecessor." The man went to the more...