Disciples Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..." "Wrong!, You must go to HELL" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head in disgust on the Pearly Gates, tells her she's wrong and to go to HELL, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?" The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what more...

Three blondes died together in an automobile accident on Easter Sunday. As they line up at the Pearly Gates of heaven, St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde,' What is Easter?' The blonde replies,' Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful...'

'Wrong!,' replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question,' What is Easter?'

The second blonde replies,' Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.'

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks,' What is Easter?'

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes,' I know what Easter is.'

'Oh really?' says St. Peter, more...

The Lesson:
The Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them
around him, he taught them saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are they that mourn.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are they who thirst justice.
Blessed are you when persecuted.
Blessed are you when you suffer.
Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven...
Then Simon Peter said, "Do we have to write this down?"
And Andrew said, "Are we supposed to know this?"
And James said, "Will we have a test on it?"
And Phillip said, "What if we don't know it?"
And Bartholomew said, "Do we have to turn this in?"
And John said, "The other disciples didn't have to learn this."
And Matthew said, "When do we get out of here?"
And Judas said, "What does this have to do with the real more...

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells
them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when
everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..."
"Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same
question, "What is Easter?"
The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put
up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her
she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks,
"What is Easter?"
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I
know what Easter is."
"Oh?" says St. Peter, more...

Buried in the Dead Sea Scrolls are some accounts of the Apostles during the Ministry of Jesus. There is, for instance, the story of Judas Iscariot, the disciple who later betrayed Jesus, which betrayal led to His Crucifixion.
It is written there that one day, before undertaking a journey across the desert of Samaria, Jesus summoned His Apostles and asked each of them to bring a stone. Informed before hand of their destination, Judas picked up a small stone so as not to tax him with weight for the journey. As the day wore on and the sun beat upon their heads, Judas smiled, for among all of them, he carried the smallest stone and therefore the least burden.
As darkness fell, Jesus told His disciples to pitch tent and to rest for the evening. He gathered them together and asked them to bring forth their stones. Wherefore, He blessed the stones and turned them into bread to overcome their hunger. Judas, of course, had the smallest bread!
On the occassion, while strolling on more...