Smiles Jokes

John
Kerry meets with the Queen of England. He asks her,
"Your Majesty,
how do you run such an efficient government? Are there
any tips you can give
to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important
thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Kerry frowns. "But how do I know the people around
me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy.
You just ask them to
answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes
a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair
in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiles, "Answer me this, please, Tony.
Your mother and father have a child. It is not your
brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That
would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says more...

Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick areperched near the front door of the girls' dorm. Severalplain Janes walk by as the two converse.Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm andsaunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and - barely audibly- inquires, "Tickle your ass with a feather?"The young beauty - startled by what she thinks she heard- exclaims "What?!" Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats"Typical nasty weather?" "Oh," she demures, "yes," and goeson her way.More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated."Tickle your ass with a feather?" "What?" "Typical nasty weather?"Finally, Romeo delivers his line,"Tickle your ass with a feather?" and his prospect stops, smiles and invites him up to her room.Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention, decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likelyprospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts more...

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..."
"Wrong!" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?"
The third blonde smiles confidently and says to St. Peter, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian more...

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Got a minute? There were three Filipino friends who were invited to a Mood Party. In order to be allowed access into the party, each person had to make an appearance as a mood or feeling. The first guy went to the supermarket and bought a pear. The second, bought a dress and the last bought a custard pie. Confused with each other, they decided to go to the party and let the host clear things up between them. The host of the party opens the door and asks the first Filipino guy, "What's the pear for?" The Filipino guy sticks out his thumb and plops the pear right over his thumb. Baffled, the host asks what this all means. The Filipino guy answers, "I'm in' dis pear (despair)!" The host smiles and let's him in. The second one busts out his dress. When asked to explain, he takes off all of his clothes, throws them to the corner and wears the dress. He then explains, "I'm in' dis dress (distress)!" The host then smiles again and let's him in as well. By this more...