Discovered Jokes / Recent Jokes
Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT; woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION; woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD; woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE; woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.
Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY; woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things... While women STUCK to shopping..............! !!!!!!!!
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my clients case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."
This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system.
Beware of...
THE CLINTON Virus....
(Gives you a 6 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)
THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus...
(Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)
THE LEWINSKY virus...
(Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails everyone about what it did)
THE RONALD REAGAN virus....
(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
THE MIKE TYSON virus....
(Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus....
(Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to stabilize around 200mb)
THE JACK KAVORKIAN virus....
(Deletes all old files)
THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus...
(Disks can no longer be inserted)
THE PROZAC virus....
(Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor more...
Dear Bob in Tech Support,
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever, as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've
tried have always conflicted with it.
I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off, but I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works
okay. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Leisure 3.1 and QuietTime programs, often trying to abort them with some sort of timing incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend more...
Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny!
In 1976, the Pentagon returned 50 security doors because of a design flaw.
The doors, which cost $1,500.00 each, had titanium locks and handles, and a 0.0001" clearance at all edges. The problem was discovered when an angry secretary threw her coffee cup at one of the doors. It went right through the
1/16 inch wood veneer. It was also discovered that if you pulled on the handle, it would come off in your hand.
In 1948, Mayor Jose Hussong, of Baja California, Mexico had a section of highway named after him by the people of his city. On the day it was to be dedicated, a group of officials waited for him to arrive. After they had waited for 2 hours, one of the officials went to the mayor's estate. He was informed that the mayor had been dead for 2 years. The official returned to the dedication and announced that the Mayor was unable to attend due to
health problems.
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client? s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."