Display Jokes / Recent Jokes
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?"
Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger.
Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out." - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropoli. He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city." The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding. The stranger is struck dumb with admiration.
"That's not all," says Jake. He pushes a few more more...
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!' 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles. 7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable. 8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King.. 9. ..but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're 'astronaut food'. 10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.' 11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I. 12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, 'You mean you really can't more...
Fireworks exploded over Sydney's Harbor Bridge as a million onlookers celebrated the New Year. In London, thousands of revelers gathered to cheer as Big Ben rings in 2007.
In the Australian capital -- one of the world's first major cities to usher in the new year -- people crammed the harbor shore for the lavish fireworks display celebrating the 25th anniversary of the iconic bridge.
Pope Benedict XVI prayed at a New Year's Eve service at the Vatican City in Rome that 2007 would bring the world "peace, comfort, justice."
In London, Big Ben's chimes were to be relayed by sound systems along the River Thames.
More than 200,000 people were expected to crowd the river's banks near the Houses of Parliament to watch a light show countdown projected onto the 443-foot (135-meter) London Eye Ferris wheel.
The event was followed by a 10-minute fireworks display, "big enough and loud enough to be seen... all over the capital," Mayor Ken Livingstone more...
One can only display complex information in the mind. Like seeing, movement or flow or alteration of view is more important than the static picture, no matter how lovely.
An avid church goer and NASCAR fan died and went to heaven. Upon entering, this person noticed pro driver Alan Kulwicki's race car, and asked St. Peter about it. St. Peter said Alan was in heaven and his car was on display.
Walking a little further, the man sees Davey Allison's car. Once again he inquired to St. Peter about it.
"Davey Allison is also in heaven. In fact, God's a BIG NASCAR fan, so when drivers die, their race cars get put on display."
Walking further, the individual came upon Jeff Gordon's #24 Chevrolet - the phenomenal kid who is breaking every record on the racing circuit. At this sight, the new heaven dweller panicked!
"Oh, No! St. Peter, Jeff Gordon was about to win the Championship this year, and you mean to tell me he has just died?!?"
"No, no," St. Peter chuckled, "That's God's car. He lets Jeff use it on weekends."
THE age-old controversy about religion that continues to rage throughout the nation reminded me about a Malayalam story. It goes something like this:
An old man whose son was working in the Gulf sent him a parcel of colourful shirt pieces. In the habit of wearing a konakam, a kind of underwear usually worn by oldies, the old man took the shirt piece, cut it up into konakams and started wearing them. Desirous of showing off his new-found affluence, the old man acquired the strange habit of picking up a corner of his dhoti to display his colourful underwear. When acquaintances asked him about his new konakams, the old man was only too glad to say that his son had sent them all the way from across the seas. One day, the old man, in a hurry to get some errand through, rushed out of home forgetting to wear his Vilayati underwear. On the street, the old gent started on his favourite trick: picking up the corner of his dhoti. The passersby seeing the sight could not help laughing. But more...