Doberman Jokes / Recent Jokes

Note to the civilized world: They don't let dogs into bars in the US.

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Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll with their dogs... One had a Doberman pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, "Let's go over to that bar and get something to drink."

The guy with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead."

They walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."

The man with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher? "

The man said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very more...

A man is walking along when he sees a funeral procession going by. It is the longest funeral procession he has ever seen, with a long line of men walking behind the hearse. He notices that the first man in line has a Doberman Pinscher on a leash. After watching the long line of men for a few minutes, the man's curiousity gets the better of him, so he goes up to the first man in the procession.
"Excuse me, sir," he says to the mourner with the dog, "I'm very sorry to bother you in your time of grief, but never in my life have I seen such a large funeral procession. Could you please tell me who this funeral is for?"
"Yes, says the man, tightening the leash on his dog, "the funeral is for my mother-in-law. You see," he says, hanging his head, "my Doberman, here, attacked and killed her."
"Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that," says the other man. "But...um...tell me, do you think maybe I could borrow this more...

A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked,' Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?'

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said,' It's my dog. Why?'

'Well,' squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,' I believe my dog just killed it, sir.'

'What?' roared the big man in disbelief.' What in the hell kind of dog do you have?'

'Sir,' answered the little man,' It's a four week old puppy.'

'Bull!' roared the biker,' How could your puppy kill my Doberman?'

'It appears that he choked on it, sir.'

There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guywith a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinschersays to the guy with a Chihuahua, 'Let's go over tothat restaurant and get something to eat.' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'We can't go in there.We've got dogs with us.' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'Just follow my lead.' They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the DobermanPinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walkin. A guy at the door says, 'Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'You don't understand.This is my seeing-eye dog.' The guy at the door says, 'A Doberman Pinscher?' He says, 'Yes, they're using them now, they're very good.' The guy at the door says, 'Come on in.' The guy with the Chihuahua figures, 'What the hell,' so he putson a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, 'Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You don't understand. This ismy more...

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone. . . cheese mine."

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.
"When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long more...

Two buddies were out one Saturday, walking their dogs. One had a Doberman Pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."The guy with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead." They walked over to the restaurant and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."The man with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?"The man said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."The bouncer let him in.His buddy with the Chihuahua put on his pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."The man with more...