Documentation Jokes / Recent Jokes
This was sent to me by someone who did not credit an author.
Go placidly among the line noise and baudrates, and remember what boredom there was before BBSing. As far as possible, do not covet your neighbor's HST. Answer your Email clearly and without typos, even to the nerds that pester you, for they have something to say even if you can't figure out what it is.
Avoid female impersonators in chat, for they are dangerous to your ego. If you compare yourself with others, you may consider suicide; for there is always someone more proficient in Zmodem than yourself.
Label your disks.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; even after staying up all night downloading. Exercise caution in your business affairs; because you need the money to pay your CompuServe bill. But let this not blind you to what enjoyment there is on your local BBS; many persons strive for the most recent shareware; and uploads get you more time on line.
Be yourself. Especially, do not more...
Documentation is like term insurance: It satisfies because almost no one who subscribes to it depends on its benefits.
Approval Seeker`s Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don`t. Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood. Arnold`s Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn`t. (2) If it does exist, it`s out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws. Astrology Laws: It`s always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman Avery`s Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it`s the start of a brand new series of three. Baer`s Quartet: Wat`s good politics is bad economics; what`s bad politics is good economics; what`s good economics is bad politics; what`s bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated somewhat more compactly as "What`s good politics is more...
Approval Seeker's Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman
The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
Arnold's Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn't. (2) If it does exist, it's out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
Astrology Laws: It's always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman
Avery's Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it's the start of a brand new series of three.
Baer's Quartet: What's good politics is bad economics; what's bad politics is good economics; what's good economics is bad politics; what's bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated somewhat more compactly more...
Part 7 - (Real Programmer at Play)
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Genrally, the Real Programmer plays the same way he works - with computers. He is constantly amazed
that his employer actually pays him to do what he would do for fun anyway (although he is careful not to
express this opinion loud). Ocassionally, the Real Programmer does step out of the office for a breath of
fresh air and a beer or two. Some tips on recognizing Real Programmers away from the computer room.
- At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner talking about operating system security
and how to get around it.
- At a football game, the Real Programmer is the one comparing the plays against his simulations printed
on 11x14 fanfold paper.
- At the beach, the Real Programmer is the one drawing flowcharts in the sand.
- At a funeral, the Real Programmer is the one saying "Poor George. And he almost had the sort routine
working before more...