Donation Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs. 10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7. 50
"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.
"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.
"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7, 50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"
"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."
"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.
"Four," the man replies.
"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense."

A man doing telephone solicitations for a local charity called up a prominent and wealthy lawyer and asked him for a modest donation. The lawyer became incensed at the request and said to his caller: “I bet you weren’t aware that just this past week my wife required major surgery and the expenses for this surgery weren’t covered by insurance. ”The caller started to apologize and express his regret for having asked for money and was interrupted by the lawyer who chimed in, “And this past month my mother died and my family had to put together an expensive funeral for her. ”Again the caller tried to apologize to the lawyer for attempting to solicit a donation and told the lawyer he was sorry to hear that his mother had died. ”
Then just this past month, one of my sons came down with a serious illness and almost died….. and my daughter needed plastic surgery to repair a congenital defect on her face, ” the lawyer added to the conversation. The caller again felt bad more...

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. A local volunteer calls to solicite his donation, saying "our research shows that even though your annual income is over a million dollars, you do not give one penny to charity! Wouldn't you like to give back to your community through The United Way?"
The lawyer thinks for a moment and says: "First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh, no."
"Secondly, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off.
"Thirdly, that my sister's husband died in a dreadful traffic accident", the lawyers voice rising in more...

A man goes to his Catholic priest, to confess his sins.
Man: "Father, I've sinned. I went to my Uncles house,
but he wasn't there, and his wife wasn't there, so I talked to
his daughter for five minutes, then I had sex with her."
Priest: "Well, it's a first offence, so I'll go easy.
A donation of five dollars, and ten Hail Mary's will earn you
forgiveness."
Then next day, the man goes back to his priest.
Man: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
I went back to my Uncles house, but he wasn't there,
and his daughter wasn't there, so I talked to his wife
for five minutes, then I had sex with her.
Priest: "That's twice. You'd better not do it again.
A donation of twenty dollars, and forty Hail Mary's and
I'll forgive you. But I'd better not see you again for a while."
The day after that, the man goes back to his priest.
Priest: "You again? I thought I said I didn't want to see you for more...

TAN TOCK SENG, SINGAPORE -- The National Pimples Center, NPC, is planning to stage the largest charity show sometime next year to raise funds for the treatment of severe acnes. "We have decided to stage such a charity show to raise fund for our acnes patients following the success of the other charity shows", said Ms Agnes Pim, public relation manager of NPC. She was referring to the NKF Local and Foreign Celebrities Charity Shows, President Star Charity Show and the recent SNHA Charity Show. "We believe this Charity Show of ours will be the best, and will received the largest amount of donation ever. We have restructured our organization to link our executives annual bonuses to the amount of donation received. We believe that this compensation program will enable us to achieve our target of S$1 billion in donation monies.", said Ms Agnes Pim. She also indicated that it should not be too difficult to raise such a huge amount given the soft-heartedness of most more...