Donkey Jokes / Recent Jokes

Early one morning a Priest heard a noise outside his door. When he opened it, he saw a donkey fall over dead. Not knowing what to do about the situation, he called the local magistrate and related the situation.

The magistrate couldn't resist jabbing at the Priest and said, "Father, I thought the first duty of a Priest was to bury the dead."

Without any hesitation, the Priest said, "No, the first duty of a Priest is to notify next of kin."

Once there was a king who had a donkey. one day the king set a competition. they had to make the donkey shakes it's head. so many people tried but they failed. It was morron's turn. he said something to the donkey and suddenly the donkey shaked his head. all the people were surprised. after sometime a man asked him that what did you said to that donkey that he suddenly shaked his head. santa told that i just said that would you like to be me and the donkey said no.

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him.
The man walks over and tThe Donkey "A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager on the side of the bar he notices a large jar filled with one pound coins the asks the bartender
"what do i have to do to win the money in that jar"
The bartender replies
"I have got my pet donkey out the back all you have to do is make him laugh and the money is yours"
So the man goes out the back and sure enough he makes the donkey wet with laughter.
the man emerges back into the bar
the bartender amazed asks
"how in gods name did you make the donkey laugh"
"now that would be telling" the man replied" and with more...

Once two people were flyin a plane. one was a white from america. after a while he asked a question to the other person: 1st
Person:"what ese are you?" the other one did not understand it. after sometime he asked him the same question,"what ese are
You?", the other man got angry and irritated and replied, what you just asked me makes no sense. so the aqmerican replied,"oh i
Just wanted to know if you are a chinese, japenese, vietnamese etc. he replied'japenese". then the japanese asked the
American, what key are u >?? The american did not understand, again he asked what key are you? the american got furious and
Irritated. the japanese cooly replied'i meant to say are you a donkey, monkey, yankee etc??"

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David more...

A Cajun named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. 00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer rove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died."
"Well then, just give me my money back."
"Cain't do that. I went and spent it already."
"OK then, just unload the donkey."
"What ya gonna do with em."
"I'm gonna raffle him off."
"Ya cain't raffle off a dead donkey!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with the Cajun and asked, "What happened with the dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2. 00 apiece and made a profit of $898. 00."
"Didn't no one complain?"
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2. 00 back."

A western reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about that land. He meets an old man in a village and asks him about any memorable events in his life. The old man says "well one time my donkey got lost, so me and my neighbors got some vodka and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the donkey. Then we drank the vodka and one by one started screwing the donkey, it was a lot of fun." The reporter figured he can't write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. The old man said: "well, one time my neighbor's wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some vodka and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the vodka and one by one screwed the neighbor's wife. It was a lot of fun." The reporter, feeling frustrated, told the old man that he couldn't write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any dramatic or sad memories that he could talk about. more...