Donkeys Jokes / Recent Jokes

one guy walks in to a bar sees a crying donkey sitting on a pot of gold and he asks the bartender whats up with the gold? The bartender said if you can get the donkey to shut up the gold is yours.
The guy says ok, and he walks over to the donkey and whispers something in the donkeys ear the donkeys cracks up laughing so the guy gets the pot of gold.
A week later he walks into the bar and sees the donkey still laughing sitting on another pot of gold he asks the the bartender was up with the gold the bar tender said if you can get the donkey to shut up, I'll give you the gold.
The guy says ok but ill have to take him out side the bartender says ok then the guy takes the donkey out side for a min walks back in 5 min later and the donkys crying again the bartender asks how in the hell did you do that the guy says to make him laugh I said my dick was bigger than his, and to make him cry I showed him.

A man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the motel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an english speaking local, the couple finally finds an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.
"Excuse me," the husband says, "could you tell us the time?"
"Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and with that he reaches down and lifts the donkey's balls. "It is 3:10", the man exclaims.
"Thank you" replies the wife in a surprised voice. And the couple continues on their way. After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. The couple return to the old man for the time.
Again the elderly man lifts the donkey's balls and says, "It is now 4:45."
By this time the husband is completely amazed. "Please show me how you can tell the time more...

A tourist is walking down an alley in Mexico. Wanting to know
the time, he walks up to a mexican who is sitting on the ground
next to a donkey. "Do you know what time it is." asks the
tourist.

The mexican raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls
and says, "It's about two thirty".

A little confused, The man
continues on his way. A little while later the tourist returns,
with the same question.

The mexican again raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls and says "It's about five twenty".

Astonished, the tourist can't help but ask how he did it.

Themexican again raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls and
points, "Do you see that clock over there....?".

Two donkeys walk into a bar and the first donkey says to the bartender ''I'll have a pint of Bud please'' and the second donkey says ''hee haw, hee haw, he always orders that''

The boy who liked Jell-O
There once was a boy named Joe who loved to eat green Jell-O. On his 18th birthday his cake was made totally out of green Jell-O. His friend Billy Bob told Joe that if he ate the whole cake he would become a super-hero. Joe did this in hopes he could be like the power-puff-girls. When the cake was all gone Joe didn't feel to good. Billy Bob told him if he jumped off a cliff his stomach wouldn't hurt and since he was now a super-hero he could just fly around for a while. Joe thought this was really a sensible idea and wondered why he hadn't thought of it himself.
Joe found a cliff and jumped off. To his surprise he couldn't fly, he flapped his arms and everything else he'd seen birds do, but nothing seemed to work. Now he was terrified and he put his hands into prayer position and began to pray, "Our father who does art in heaven, Howard be your name…." And on it went like that until he came to a thump.
He had landed in a lake, and in more...