Lifts Jokes

a little boy and girl were playing one day when the little boy opens his pants and says, bet you dont have one of these! The little girl lifts her skirt, looks down, begins to cry then runs home to her mother.The next day, the little girl approaches the boy, lifts her skirt and with a big grin states:My mommy told me with one of these i can get all of those i want!

This cowboy walks into the saloon and orders a whiskey. The bartender slides it along the bar and the cowboy downs it in one gulp. Immediately he rushes back out the bar, goes to his horse, lifts its tail, and gives it a huge smacking kiss there.

He then goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey. The bartender slides it along the bar and once again the cowboy downs it in one gulp then rushes out the bar, goes to his horse, lifts its tail, and gives it a huge smacking kiss there.

He goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey. By this time there are a number of other patrons looking at him with a fair bit of interest. The bartender decides he'd better ask what's going on before the cowboy gets too drunk to answer.

"So, Cowboy, why is it that every time you order a whiskey you go out and kiss your horse on the bum?"

The Cowboy (in his best drawl) replies "Chapped lips."

The bartender says with some more...

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A tourist is walking down an alley in Mexico. Wanting to know
the time, he walks up to a mexican who is sitting on the ground
next to a donkey. "Do you know what time it is." asks the
tourist.

The mexican raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls
and says, "It's about two thirty".

A little confused, The man
continues on his way. A little while later the tourist returns,
with the same question.

The mexican again raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls and says "It's about five twenty".

Astonished, the tourist can't help but ask how he did it.

Themexican again raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls and
points, "Do you see that clock over there....?".

A man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the motel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an english speaking local, the couple finally finds an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.
"Excuse me," the husband says, "could you tell us the time?"
"Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and with that he reaches down and lifts the donkey's balls. "It is 3:10", the man exclaims.
"Thank you" replies the wife in a surprised voice. And the couple continues on their way. After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. The couple return to the old man for the time.
Again the elderly man lifts the donkey's balls and says, "It is now 4:45."
By this time the husband is completely amazed. "Please show me how you can tell the time more...