Doorbell Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut. Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe, and went to the door.

A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.

The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.

Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and, with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.

After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax. Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.
Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.
A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes.
Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.
Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.
After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax. Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life, so she placed a personal ad that read: Rich Widow Looking for Man to Share Life and Fortune with the Following Qualifications:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't more...

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press the doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small, and the doorbell is placed at normal adult height, and the little fellow just can't reach. After watching the boy's sorry efforts for some time as he moves closer to the boy's position, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing one hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over the boy and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the urchin replies, "Now we run like Hell!"

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door. A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath. The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub. Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor. After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax... Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

A woman had grown tired of living alone and decided she would like to have a companion to share her home with. She placed an ad in the newspaper outlining her requirements. What she wanted was a man who: 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, 3) was good in bed.
A couple of days later, she heard her doorbell. When she answered it, she saw before her a man in a wheelchair who had no arms and no legs.
"Hello," said the man. "I'm here regarding your ad in the newspaper. As you can plainly see, I have no arms so I could never beat you and I have no legs so I could never run away from you."
"Yes, I see that, but are you any good in bed?" she asked.
"Lady, how do you think I rang the doorbell!" he replied.