Dose Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One -- but its an 8 hour minimum.

A man went to the doctor to get a double dose of Viagra, but his request was denied.

"Why can't I have a double dose?" the man asked. "It's not safe," the doctor replied.

"But I need it really bad," the man explained.

"My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, one of my exes will be here on Saturday, and my wife is coming home on Sunday."

"Okay, I'll give it to you," the doctor relented. "But you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check to see if there are any side effects."

On Monday the man dragged himself into the doctor's office with his right arm in a sling. The doctor asked, "What happened to you?"

The man said, "No one showed up."

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.

Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with
andouille an made some gumbo out of dem.

Day 3 Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of
eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens
to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Marie needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.

Day 4 Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more dem darn birds. Deez
four, what you call dem "calling birds" were so noisy you could hear dem
all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an
fed de rest of dem to de gators.

Day 5 Dear Boudreaux, You finally more...

Sven & Ole, a couple of Norwegians now living in Minnesota, head for the fair in Duluth. The first thing to catch Sven's eye is the big double Ferris wheel.
"Oh, Ole," he says, "vould you look at dat. I've always vanted to go on von of dose big Ferris veels. Let's go ride on dat von."
Ole, not being near as adventurous as Sven says, "Oh, I don't tink so. Dat looks kind of dangerous to me." "Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason vhy you von't go vit me on dat ride."
Ole couldn't come up with a good reason so up they went. Ole had to admit after the ride that it was kind of fun.
After another 10 or 15 minutes they came to the roller coaster. "Oh Ole," says Sven, "Vould you look at dat. Dat's von fine looking roller coaster. I tink ve should go for a ride' on dat."
"Oh, I don't tink so." says Ole. "Dat looks very dangerous to me."
"Vell," says Sven. more...

Doctors now think that just one dose, rather than two, of the new swineflu vaccine looks strong enough to protect adults. I might still demandthat second dose, but I don’t want to look like a pig.