Dot Jokes / Recent Jokes
A patient goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist gives him a Rorschach Test; he shows the patient a circle with a dot inside it and asks, "What do you see?" The patient replies, "Two people are having sex in the middle of a circular room." The psychiatrist shows the patient another picture of a square with a dot inside it and asks, "What do you see?" Patient answers, "Two people are having sex in a square room." The psychiatrist shows the patient one more picture of a triangle with a dot outside it and asks, "What do you see now?" Patient replies, "Doctor, are you some kind of pervert?!?"
Der next night vas Christmas
Der night is vas schtill
Der stockings vas hung
By der chimney to fill.
Der shildren vas snuggled
All up in der bed
And mama in nightgown
And I up ahead...
Vas searchink around
In der dark for der toys
Ve krept around kviet
Not to make any noise.
Und mudder vas carrying
Der toys in her gown
Showink her person
From up her vaist down.
Und ven she came near
Der crib of our boy
Our youngest und sveetest
Our pride und our choy...
His eyes vide open
As he peeked from his cot...
Und seen everythink
Dot his mudder has got!
He didn't even notice
Der toys in her lap...
He chust asked,
"For whom ist dot little fur cap?"
Und mudder said "hush"
Und she laughed mit delight...
I tink I give dat
To your father tonight!
An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says. . . And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)". Abraha} thkught long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums, as long as he could have his way more...
Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice
archery
by aiming for the red dot on their wife's forehead.
In fact,
this is one of the reasons why they had many wives.
Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much
about
the country. All the wonderful places, the forests,
the
snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use
elephants
for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own
elephant. But
later to save air, we started elephant-pooling with
our
neighbors, You see elephants have an "emissions"
problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is
trying to
encourage elephant-pooling schemes.
Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even the tigers are more...
OJ Simpson's website address: www dot' o' dot' j' dot com backslash backslash backslash escape.
NOTE: Please do not Soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6. Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: ____________ _________ __
10. Phather Name: ____________ ________ (If not no, leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) more...
*Panama hats come from Ecuador not Panama.
*Human birth control pills work on gorillas.
*In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
*S. O. S. doesn't stand for "Save Our Ship" or "Save Our Souls" -- It was chosen by an 1908 international conference on Morse Code because the letters S and O were easy to remember and just about anyone could key it and read it, S = dot dot dot, O = dash dash dash.
*Crickets hear through their knees.
*A' jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
*The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
*Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by Bayer.
*U. S. Interstates which go north-south are numbered sequentially starting from the west with odd numbers, and Interstates which go east-west are numbered sequentially starting from the south with even numbers.
*According to Genesis 1: 20-22 the more...