Double Jokes / Recent Jokes
An MG Midget pulled alongside a Rolls-Royce at a traffic light.
"Do you have a car phone?" its driver asked the guy in the Rolls.
"Of course I do," replied the haughty deluxe-car driver.
"Well, do you have a fax machine?"
The driver in the Rolls sighed. "I have that too."
"Then do you have a double bed in the back?" the Midget driver
wanted to know.
Ashen-faced, the Rolls driver sped off. That afternoon, he had a
mechanic install a double bed in his auto.
A week later, the Rolls driver passes the same MG Midget, which is
parked on the side of the road-back windows fogged up and steam
pouring out. The arrogant driver pulls over, gets out of the Rolls
and bangs on the Midget's back window until the driver sticks his head
out. "I want you to know that I had a double bed installed," brags
the Rolls driver.
The Midget driver is unimpressed. "You got me out of the more...
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, the man told the bartender he? d had enough.The bartender said, "I? ve got to ask you. What? s with the pocket business?""Oh," said the man, "I have my lawyer? s picture in here, and when he starts to look honest, I know I? ve had enough."
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch.A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he's had enough.The bartender said, "I've got to ask you - what's with the pocket business?"The man replied, "I have my lawyer's picture in there. When he starts to look honest, I've had enough."
I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
Two weeks after returning from their honeymoon, Mr. Smith comes home from work and informs his wife that he's invited four of his office buddies for dinner on Friday night. Feeling apprehensive, his wife asks if she must cook dinner for the four. The husband explains that there won't be only four coming, there will be eight since each will be bringing his wife.
Seeing her nervousness, since this will be their first party, the husband consoles her by saying all she will have to do is order in some Chinese food and maybe she could bake a cake.
On Friday morning, the wife calls her husband at the office and she's in tears. She tells him that the only cake recipe she has will only feed six.
"Then just double the recipe," he says.
"I can't. It's impossible," she sobs.
"Why can't you?" he asks.
"The recipe calls for two eggs," she replies.
"Well, use FOUR eggs. Don't you have four eggs?" he asks.
"Yes, more...
Which condom would you use....
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your more...