Double Jokes / Recent Jokes

I made this up.
Looking for a girl-friend
Following are some of the requirements.
* Make and Model Human/Woman
* Year 1966 - 1972
* Mileage Low (prefer ~0)
* Engine Three Cylinder (V-1 position)
EFI**
Multi-port Injection
Single fuel intake/double exhaust (all three usable)
Very low noise
Quick acceleration (Zero to Sixty Nine in

The current stimulus package before Congress contains tax breaks for purchasing a home and buying a new car. So I plan to get a double tax break by buying a new Chevy van and living in it.

Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmm, good.
AT&T Condoms: Reach out and touch someone.
Energizer Condoms: It keeps going and going and going...
M&M Condoms: Melts in your mouth, not in your hands!
MCI Condoms: For friends and family.
Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
Star Trek Condoms: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper.
General Electric Condoms: We bring good things to life!
Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today?
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Coca-Cola Condoms: Always the real thing.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Nike Condoms: Just do it.

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife!"

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife!"

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodka."The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?""Yeah, my wife!"

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."