Double Jokes / Recent Jokes

A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a doublescotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside hisshirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket andordered another double scotch.Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all nightlong. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another."The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she startsto look good, then I know it's time to go home."

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife... When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife... When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."

A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he's had enough. The bartender said, "I've got to ask you - what's with the pocket business?"The man replied, "I have my lawyer's picture in there. When he starts to look honest, I've had enough."

THE TRAGIC COMEDIE OF KING LEER

Scene 1. A forest glen. Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr.

Witch Tripp:
Double, double, Webster Hubbell,
I think I got the Creep in trouble.
Eye of Newt, strap of bra,
Could it be he broke some law?
Praise this broth utmost ephemeral,
Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril!

Hark! Who trespasses so near?

Kenneth of Starr:' Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news?

Witch Tripp: Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden
Lewinsky, so deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady Willey in like
pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the king.

Starr: Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more moves
than a chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good news of the
economie, doth o'erlook much.

Witch Tripp: How may I serve you next?

Starr: I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else more...