Dove Jokes / Recent Jokes

A soldier, a marine, and an airman got into a fight about which service is best. The fight was so heated, that they killed each other. Soon, they found themselves in Heaven. They see St. Peter walk by and ask, “Which Branch of Service is the best? ” St. Peter replied, “I can't answer that. But, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him. ” Some time later, the three see St. Peter again and ask him if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. The dove was carrying a note in its beak. St. Peter opened the note and read it out loud to the three fellows: “Gentlemen: All the Branches of the Service are ‘Honorable and Noble’. Each one of you has served your country well. Be proud of that. (signed) GOD, USN (Ret.)”

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed, climbed into bed, and went at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and commenced a repeat performance.

The hooker was impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and started again!

The hooker was amazed at this sequence. During the fifth encounter, she decided to try it herself. When they were done she jumped up, went to the window and took a deep breath of fresh air, dove under the bed to find 4 other Chinese men.

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer more...

There once was a magical bridge. A wise man told a blonde, brunette, and a red head that if they ran across it and wished to be any thing it would happen. So the next day all three of them went to the bridge. The red head went first. "I wish I was a dove!" and poof she turned into a dove. Next went the brunette. "I wish I was a dolphin!" and poof she turned into a dolphin. Next came the blonde. She ran as fast as she could and said "I wish I was....she noticed her shoelace was untied and said "CRAP!" and she turned into crap.

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the more...

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10. I did not object to the object. 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 14. The buck does funny things when does are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18. After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19. Upon seeing more...

A soldier, a marine, and an airman got into a fight about which service is best. The fight was so heated, that they killed each other.Soon, they found themselves in Heaven. They see St. Peter walk by and ask, “Which
Branch of Service is the best?”St. Peter replied, “I can't answer that. But, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him.”Some time later, the three see St. Peter again and ask him if he was able to find the
answer.Suddenly, a dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. The dove was carrying a note in
its beak. St. Peter opened the note and read it out loud to the three fellows:
“Gentlemen: All the Branches of the Service are ‘Honorable and Noble’. Each one
of you has served your country well. Be proud of that.(signed)
GOD, USN (Ret.)”