Doves Jokes / Recent Jokes
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake
and turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.
On the seventh day, what a mess I found
The more...
On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Five golden rings.
Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six geese a-laying,
five golden rings.
Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to more...
The Twelve Days After Christmas
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup [peop100078_x51.WMF (46812 bytes)]
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake
and turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.
On the seventh day, what a mess I more...
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake
and turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
A. S. P. C. A.
On the seventh day, what a mess I more...
The price of giving all the items bestowed by the "true love" of the song
"The Twelve Days of Christmas" may be a little beyond most people's
budget. The following costs were calculated for 1998, based upon a
report issued in 1995 by PNC Bank Corp., assuming an annual rate of
inflation of 2. 5 percent
1. Partridge in a pear tree $38
2. Turtle doves $54
3. French hens $16
4. Calling birds $302
5. Gold rings $485
6. Geese-a-laying $162
7. Swans-a-swimming $7, 538
8. Maids-a-milking $37
9. Pipers piping $2, 807
10. Ladies dancing $3, 245
11. Lords-a-leaping $1, 194
12. Drummers drumming $1, 293
Total to give gifts once $17, 170
Total to give as in song* $78, 986
* Singing the song in its entirety results in 364 presents. The partridge
is given 12 times, two doves 11 times (22 total), etc., etc., etc...