Drummers Jokes

How do musicians do it...
Altos are sandwiched between sopranos and tenors.
Altos have body.
Bach did it with the organ.
Band members do it all night.
Band members do it in a parade.
Band members do it in front of 100,000 people.
Band members do it in public.
Band members do it in sectionals.
Band members do it on the football field.
Baritones do it deeper.
Bass clarinetists put it between their legs and blow.
Basses and altos do it lower.
Basses have rhythm.
Beethoven did it apassionately.
Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra.
Choir boys do it unaccompanied.
Clarinetists do it with alternate fingerings.
Contrabass clarinetists do it deeper with a lot of tongue and steady rhythm.
Cymbal players do it with a crash.
DJs do it on request.
DJs do it on the air.
Drummers beat it.
Drummers do it in 4/4 time.
Drummers do it longer.
Drummers do it with both hands and more...

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. They have machines that do that now.
A2: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
A3: One, but only after asking, "Why?" ("Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?")
A4: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
A5: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.

Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What does a drummer say when he gets to his paying gig?
A: "Do you want fries with that?"
Q: What do you say to a drummer in a 3-piece suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise..."
Q: What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: Why do drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don't disgrace themselves in the parade.
Q: How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
A: You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
Q: Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
A: he had to break the window to get the drummer out!
Q: Why do drummers leave their drumsticks on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the more...

In New York City, an out of work jazz drummer named Ed was thinking of throwing himself off a bridge. But then he ran into a former booking agent who told him about the fantastic opportunities for drummers in Iraq. The agent said "If you can find your way over there, just take my card and look up the bandleader named Faisal--he's the large guy with the beard wearing gold pajamas and shoes that curl up at the toes." Ed hit up everyone he knew and borrowed enough to buy transport to Iraq. It took several days to arrange for passport, visas, transportation into Iraq and the shipping of his equipment, but he was finally on his way. Ed arrived in Baghdad and immediately started searching for Faisal. He found guys in pajamas of every color but gold. Finally, in a small coffeehouse, he saw a huge man with a beard--wearing gold pajamas and shoes that curled up at the toes! Ed approached him and asked if he was Faisal. He was. Ed gave him the agent's card and Faisal's face brightened more...

24. You actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long.
23. The drummers start making sense to you.
22. You have to stay in step with people around you while walking.
21. You direct the songs on the radio.
20. Playing "stare down" with the drum major is no fun anymore.
19. You wonder what life would be like if you weren`t in band.
18. You roll step while you walk to class.
17. You practice your marching music on a daily basis.
16. You think Louie Louie is the best song ever written.
15. You major in music and usse your high school band director as a role model.
14. Those stupid "band humor" jokes are the funniest things you ever heard.
13. You pick out instruments from the music in cartoons.
12. You start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
11. Drummers start making sense to you.
10. You`ve dated everyone in the band more...