Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor. Doctor: What was your dream about? Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire! Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like? Blonde: I was running in a hall way. Doctor: Then what happened? Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge! Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it? Blonde: Yes it did. Doctor: And what did these letter spell? Blonde: It said "Pull"
Last night I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Three guys were sleeping in one bed. When the guy on the end wakes up he say "i had a dream i was getting a hand job" then the other guy on the end wakes up and sya the same thing. the guy in the middle wakes up and says "i had a dream i was skiing!"
SANTA & BANTA WERE GOOD FRIENDS. THEY BOTH LOVED CRICKET. THEY BOTH DECIDED THAT WHO EVER DIES FIRST WILL COME IN THE OTHER'S DREAM & TALK ABOUT CRICKET. BANTA DIED FIRST.
SO BANTA CAME IN SANTA'S DREAM AND TALKED ABOUT CRICKET. SO SANTA ASKED BANTA THAT HOW IS CRICKET IN HEAVEN?
BANTA SAID'IN HEAVEN CRICKET IS VERY FAMOUS".
THE NEXT DAY BANTA AGAIN CAME. HE TOLD SANTA THAT HE HAS ONE GOODNEWS & ONE BAD NEWS. SANTA FIRST ASKED THE GOODNEWS.
BANTA SAID'THE GOODNEWS IS THAT THERE IS A MATCH IN HEAVEN TOMORROW & I'AM THE OPENING BATSMAN".
THEN SANTA ASKED THE BAD NEWS & BANTA SAID "THE BAD NEWS IS THAT YOU ARE THE OPENING BOWLER IN THAT MATCH!!!".
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again!" "What dream?" asked the psychiatrist. "You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"
Half the people in Baltimore dream of having their own house. The other half dream about breaking into them.
Amazing city Baltimore. Where else can ya bet on a horse race like the Preakness with your welfare check?
Most of the natives in Baltimore aren't very friendly. In fact, if it weren't for muggings, there'd be almost no personal contact.
Baltimore still has a Zoo where a lot of the animals are still behind bars. Of course, that's for their own safety & protection.
There's a snazzy new restaurant in the Inner Harbor that specializes in seafood. The prices are so outrageous though, that when you find a pearl in your oyster, you just about break even.
Chivalry isn't dead yet though. A lady, her arms loaded with a lot of packages, boarded a bus and although no one offered her a seat, one fellow whispered to her, "Be alert now, I get off at the stop after next."
In Baltimore, there are people from all walks of life - most run more...