Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes

white man a mexican man and a black man were camping and they were hungry so they said i want fried bolonie there were three men and four pieces of bolonie they all ate one piece there was one left they all argued over who gets the last piece of bolonie
so the black man said i have an idea lets go to sleep and when we wake upin the morning we will tell our dreams who ever has the best dream will get the last piece of bolonie ok they all agreed
ok so they went to sleep and they woke up the next morning the black man said to the white man what did you dream about?
he said surfing ok the black man said to the mexican man what did you dream about? he said dinosaurs ok then the white man said to the black man what did you dream about? the black man said oh yeah while all you mother fuckers were sleeping i ate the last piece
of bolonie

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So… what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that’s the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can’t open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn’t budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said “Pull”

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why? Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...

"y'know, they made a movie about me once. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
"Oops."
"Is that thing called a lung?"
"And my mom wanted me to help people."
"Shoot! That's the third pair of tongs this week!"
"I can't pull it out!"
"This belongs on MTV."
"No one asked for your opinion."
"It's a boy!"
"Hey! I can see the operating table!"
"Brilliant. Now what?"
"I need a lawyer."
"What have you been eating?!"
"This is all a dream...this is all a dream..."
"Mommy!"
"Fire in the hole!"
"I knew I should've stopped drinking."

On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, "I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." The guy on the left says, "I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." "The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream that I went skiing."

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Santa: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Santa: It said "Pull"