Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?""You'll know tonight." he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, "I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick."The guy on the left says, "I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick.""The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream that I went skiing."

I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald.

I had a funny dream last night, Mom. Did you? I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.

Yes, it's hard to believe, but in 1999 Barbie will turn 40, just in time to greet the new century. And they've been40 full, rich years. She began as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introducedat Toy Fair in 1959.She soared into space as an astronaut in 1974, ran for president in1992, and, in 1997, she bore disability bravely, folding her first-ever bending legs intoa wheelchair to become a role model once again for a newly identified market. In every incarnation, nationality, and skin tone, she's perfectly turned out, with accessories galore at her longslender fingertips. She's Everywoman, she's the Cosmo Girl, she has it all. So, what willMattel think of next as the company meets the challenge of Barbie turning 40? Why fight age? Why notcapitalize on it in every way possible? Here are some ideas Mattel might consider for apast 40 Barbie:Bifocals Barbie: Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print more...

A girl walked over to her neighbors for her morning chat session. When she got there, her neighbor remarked how tired she looked. "Yeah" she said, "I didnt sleep well last night, I had this really strange dream." "Do tell" said her neighbor, pouring the coffee. "Well, I dreamed I woke up and went downstairs as usual, but when I looked in the mirror my face had turned orange, and my hair was sticking straight up out of my head and was green!" "Sounds like you turned into a punk rocker or something" the neighbor said, with a grin. "No" she said, "It wasnt like that. It was as if I knew something was wrong, but it seemed normal somehow, you know what I mean?" "Sure" said the neighbor, "Everybodys had dreams like that." "Well anyway" she continued, "I decided to go down and get the mail, because even in my dream, I figured I must be dreaming, so what the heck if I was orange, you know? more...

So, these three good friends arrive at a ski lodge late at night, and are told there's only a single room available. Fortunately, it has a king-size bed and they agree to share the room, quickly going to bed in order to hit the slopes early the next morning.
The next morning, while they're suiting up, the man that slept on the left side of the bed says, "You know, I had the strangest dreams! I kept dreaming that someone was jerking me off!"
"That's funny," replies the man sleeping on the right, "I had the same kind of dream!"
They both turn and stare at their friend that had slept in the middle.
"Don't look at me!" he exclaims. "I dreamed about skiing all night!"