Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face."Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again!""What dream?" asked the psychiatrist."You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"

Andy said, "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row."

The psychiatrist replied, "Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible."

"Oh yeah?" said Andy, "In the dream, I was the third girl from the end."

"Doctor," explained the frustrated junior exec, "every night I have the same strange dream. Beautiful girls sneak into my apartment and try to seduce me."
"Well, what do you do?" asked the doctor.
"Nothing. I keep pushing them away."
"And what do you want me to do?"
"Please, doc," pleaded the man, "break my arms."

A man went to a psychiatrist and explained his problem. "Two weeks ago I had a dream that I was a tippee. Then, the next day, I dreamt I was a wigwam. In my next dream, I was a teepee again, and this has been happening the whole too weeks! What's wrong with me, Doc?".
"It's simple. You're just two tents".

"Doctor," the young man lying on the couch said, "please, you have to help me. Each night I have the same terrible dream. I'm lying in bed and suddenly five of the most gorgeous women imagineable rush in and start tearing off my clothes."
Nodding, the psychiatrist asked, "What do you do?"
"I push all of them away," replied the young man.
"I see," said the doctor. "What can I do to help you with this?"
"Break my arms!" the young man pleaded.