Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mother (To Child): Wake Up! Wake Up! You Are Being Late!
Child: Mom I Do'nt Want To Go To School
Mother: But Why?
Child: I Saw A Dream
Mother: What Dream?
Child: I Was Running A 100 Metre Race!
Mother: So?
Child: I Am Tired

A young Jewish man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder. "Every thought I have turns to my mother," he told the psychiatrist. "As soon as I fall asleep and being to dream, everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up so upset that all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast."The psychiatrist replied, "What, just one piece of toast for a big boy like you?"

Cesium Glows
(Tune, Love's a Rose - Neil Young)

Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when it's on the tongue.
Lips full of holes, you'll know you've kissed it,
Just take a bite if you want to die young.

I want to see what's never been seen,
I want to dream that Cesium dream.
Come on love, we can glow together,
Let's eat it all right now.
Take a bite right now.

I want to lie in a hole in the ground,
Six feet deep, and twelve feet' round.
Sky blue light around me shinin',
Pale blue worms upon me dinin'.

Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when its on your tongue.
Mouth full of holes if ever you kiss it,
Gimme a spoon' cause I wanna die Young.

---Songs of Cesium #109

How come black people always have nightmares?
Because the last one who had a dream was shot.

Inspirational stuff!!!
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you have to let go.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Dream more...

Bill Clinton went to sleep at his desk one afternoon and had a strange dream. In the dream, he died and went to hell. When he gets there, Satan greets him and tells him that he will be there for all eternity, but, because of the way he behaved on earth while living, he gets to choose the type of punishment he will receive.
Satan escorts him around and they come to a room where Newt Gingrich is stretched out on a rack, screaming in agony as the wheel is turned. Clinton says, "Nope, I don't think I'd like that kind of punishment." So they go on to the next room.
There was Bob Dole, tied to a long pole and suspended over a large tub of raw sewage. He is lowered into the tank until completely submerged. After a few minutes he is lifted out of the tank, gasping and fighting for breath. As soon as he gets his breath back, he's lowered again. "uh-uh!" says Clinton. "That's not for me."
Finally they come to a room where Kenneth Starr is hanging from more...

Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your
underwear during a fire drill.