Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes

You stay up all night coding only to realize that you haven't had any caffine in about 6 hours.
You start listening to music and see it properly indented in your head.
You think the cleaning lady is sining in tune.
You wonder why on earth anyone would make a programming language conform to such absolutely bizare rules of grammer but in a strange way it actually begins to make sense.
You start dreaming in recursion (if you have any time to dream).
You realize not only is it day but your project is due in 2 hours, which isn't enough time to even begin running it.
You start customizing your environment because you want it "just right" (and because further work on the program is futile).
You wonder when the invasion will begin.
You understand #8.
You write a list like this.
You start getting lost in the control syntax (i.e. () {} [] or other meaningless symbols that the high and mighty compiler programmers force down upon us its represion more...

Mrs. Bandlow says to her husband,....."I had the strangest dream last night. It was Christmas, and our tree was decorated with all kinds of penises. White ones, black ones, circumcised and uncircumcised, big and small. And on the top of the tree was the *perfect* penis."
Mr. Bandlow says, "I bet that one was mine?"
She says, "Sorry, honey, it wasn't."
He says, "You know, it's weird, but I had almost the same dream. A Christmas tree decorated with pussies... shaven and unshaven, thin and thick lips, scented and unscented... and the one on the top was the *perfect* pussy."
She says, "I suppose that one on the top was mine?"
He says, "Nope. Yours was holding up the tree!"

Yo Mama is like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail!

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed
that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What
do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it
to his wife. Delighted, she opened it-to find a book
entitled, "The meaning of dreams."
-seen in this month's Readers Digest.

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that`s the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can`t open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn`t budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Santa: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Santa: It said "Pull"

"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing. In fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? That's a breakfast?"

Half the people in Baltimore dream of having their own house. The other half dream about breaking into them.
Amazing city Baltimore. Where else can ya bet on a horse race like the Preakness with your welfare check?
Most of the natives in Baltimore aren't very friendly. In fact, if it weren't for muggings, there'd be almost no personal contact.
Baltimore still has a Zoo where a lot of the animals are still behind bars. Of course, that's for their own safety & protection.
There's a snazzy new restaurant in the Inner Harbor that specializes in seafood. The prices are so outrageous though, that when you find a pearl in your oyster, you just about break even.
Chivalry isn't dead yet though. A lady, her arms loaded with a lot of packages, boarded a bus and although no one offered her a seat, one fellow whispered to her, "Be alert now, I get off at the stop after next."
In Baltimore, there are people from all walks of life - most run however.
Baltimore more...