Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes

This married couple wakes up during the X-mas season.
The wife says, "I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that our X-mas tree was decorated with dicks and on top was the biggest, hardest, smoothest dick I have ever seen."
"I suppose that was mine," the hubby said proudly.
"No, I think maybe it belonged to Brad Pitt," she replied. "Oh yeah," he said snottily. "Well I had a similiar dream."
"I dreamt that our tree was decorated with pussies and on top was the wettest, best looking pussy I have ever seen."
"And I suppose that was mine?" she asked. "Nope. Yours was holding up the tree!"

For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. "Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!" "Yeah," said Mulvaney. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"

The last of the missing 11 Egyptian students were found in a Virginia apartment they had rented. Instead of arriving in Bozeman, Montana to attend school, many had gone their separate ways, gotten jobs, and live the American dream. One such dream included delivering pizzas in Baltimore, which coincidently is exactly what a degree from the University of Montana will get you.
When asked why he failed to show up in Montana, Mohamed Saleh Ahmed Maray, replied, "It's Montana."

there were three men who had to find a cabin to sleep in for the night because they were out in the snow. they found a cabin and got ready for bed. before they went to bed they all said to each other "in the morning we will tell each other our dreams" and they all fell asleep. the next morning they all woke up. the first guy said"i had a dream someone was pulling my dick". the second guy came up and said "i had a dream someone was pulling my dick". the third guy came up and said i had a dream i was milking cows.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face.
"Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again!"
"What dream?" asked the psychiatrist.
"You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again." "What dream?" asked the shrink, not really paying attention." You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"

A blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what was the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always came to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"